Monday, September 29, 2014

Afternoon Commute

My commute has gotten significantly shorter, but that doesn't mean that I cannot blast music with the windows down and the sunroof open for as long as the weather permits. I stumbled upon this song over the summer, and for some reason, it has been getting more and more airtime in Vega$ (my car) lately. Enjoy!

Song: "Take Me To Church" (live on the Late Show with David Letterman)
Artist: Hozier

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Things I Learned From My Ex(es) Part 4

Editor's Note: By now, you should be familiar with this gimmick series. I added a page above that is dedicated specifically to these fine gentlemen You can click on it to see the previous three posts. 

The One With Whom I Went To Concerts
  • I learned that eating meat on a stick is totally acceptable. 
  • I learned that I really like a guy who can wear glasses well. 
  • I learned that tipping a cocktail waitress with a cigarette is only funny once. 
  • I learned that dating someone with the nickname "The Hammer" will always be funny. 
  • I learned that some relationships have expiration dates on them. 
  • I learned that if there is a concert that one truly wants to see, one should buy two tickets. Inevitably, one will find a date. 
  • I learned that being someone's wedding date at the beginning of a relationship can be both very fun and very misleading. 
  • I learned that I will agree to a first date if and only if the person asking has a plan. Nothing elaborate, but a definite plan. Having tickets to a show is a great way to start. 
  • I learned that power outages and floods cannot stop a good time from happening. 
  • I learned that being gifted in the art of naming a mixtape is priceless. 
  • I learned that dedicating an entire blog to The O.C. is nothing short of totally awesome. 
  • I learned that "origami is the art of folding paper." Well, at least that's what I heard. 
  • I learned that some break-ups hurt way more than others, for no particular reason other than one's life is less interesting and more boring without that person around. But then... 
  • I learned that a relationship with a guy can end, and then lead to a marriage to that guy's roommate, with that same guy being the Best Man in the wedding. Yup. That can happen. 

Tuesday, September 23, 2014


I knew when I woke up today that I would have at least twenty-three thoughts and ideas that wouldn't fit into an entire post. Maybe it's because so much change is occurring (LITERALLY AS I TYPE THIS) in my life; maybe it's because 75% of my daily existence is inundated with incompetence.

Nevertheless, this is HGB as of right now: 
  1. My last name does not begin with P. After getting divorced once, going through the pain and suffering of sitting in the East Liberty Social Security office cesspool of complacency on multiple occasions, and making two costly trips downtown to the City-County Building to get permission to "assume a prior name," I think it's understandable why I resolved never to change my name again under any circumstances. 
  2. Migraine headaches are actually the worst. 
  3. Say what you will about Verizon, but the guy who hooked up my FiOS was fantastic. He even hooked up my 2002 DVD/VCR combo player for me. You know, in case I want to watch the VHS of the 1997 Pennsylvania Bituminous Coal Queen Pageant starring yours truly. 
  4. I haven't spent quality time with SAA in nearly a month and it's affecting me. 
  5. I have said it before and I will say it again. Do not text me before work unless you are telling me something pleasant. 
  6. I really don't care about the NFL. Aren't there better topics of which to discuss than a bunch of reckless athletes criminals who abuse their extremely #blessed privileged opportunity to do something meaningful play a game for a living?
  7. We need to stop giving attention to people who are not significantly newsworthy. 
  8. I need help painting my living room and dining room. Would anyone like to hang out with me while doing manual labor? 
  9. If you ask me a sarcastic question regarding whether or not I am enjoying my day, you might not like the answer that you get. Be wary. 
  10. The next person who takes advantage of my kindness is going to be shunned. 
  11. Fall television programming on ABC is almost here! 
  12. I am no longer an Urban Outfitters customer. 
  13. Who wants to kidnap me and take me somewhere fun and stress free? Just ask my Uncle ESG, as he claims that I am an excellent traveler. 
  14. If you are a home owner and you do not understand charter schools, you might want to make it a priority. 
  15. The working title of my autobiography is Fifty Shades of Blue
  16. The Hot Honey Mustard wing sauce at Gateway Grill is so good. Get it on the side. Just trust me. 
  17. I didn't comb my hair today or yesterday, and I got a ton of compliments. What does it all mean? 
  18. I don't like to write in blue pen. 
  19. I do like to write in brown pen though. 
  20. Why is Red Bull so expensive? I mean, I get the whole concept of supply and demand thanks to Mr. Slampak's Economics class in 1998. But, why Red Bull? What makes it so special other than the fact that I am pretty sure I am addicted? (I expect a text from PSB as soon as she reads this.) 
  21. Twice today I saw a few students with pegged jeans. Yes. The early nineties are really back. Flannels, eh. Crop tops, fine. High-waisted jeans, no big deal. But pegged jeans? Who would have anticipated this turn of events? This has me in the mood for a Beverly Hills, 90210 marathon and a shopping spree to Century III Mall to hit up 579, Contempo Casuals, and Gantos! 
  22. I don't understand the whole pumpkin spice thing. And why is it a thing? 
  23. Today's word of the day: viable.

On Survival

I've been thinking of survival lately; I have been thinking of enduring. Our local high school football team has the motto, “To achieve, you must endure.” It’s true. And every day, each one of us is challenged to survive and endure some conflict, whether it is external, internal, or a combination of both. Of course, that which we experience varies individually; yet, that variance doesn't lessen the stress, pain, and anguish of such experiences. With that in mind, September 26 is Mesothelioma Awareness Day. It’s rare and many people aren't familiar with this form of cancer unless their lives are affected personally. That should change. Thus, I am writing this post to help raise awareness, and to share a story of survival and endurance with you.

Not too long ago a passionate man, Cameron Von St. James contacted me with the hope that I would help him raise awareness for this good cause. His beautiful wife and the mother of his child, Heather, is a survivor; she has endured and she has achieved.

Please watch Heather Von St. James' story here. Please consider sharing this information with others. Please remember that, “From awareness grows hope. Each voice could save a life.”

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Things I Learned From My Ex(es) Part 3

Editor's Note: This is the third installment of many; if you missed the first two you can click here:"Things I Learned From My Ex(es)" and "Things I Learned From My Ex(es) Part 2." Yes, that means that yours truly has plenty of exes about whom she can write plenty of posts. My hope is that this series will help readers to find the humor in their relationships, and maybe even to feel some reminiscent gratitude for the "lessons" they learned because of such relationships. You know, if we don't laugh (or simply smile) about our pasts, most likely we'd cry our eyes out. Lastly, it shouldn't need to be mentioned that I am not going to be mentioning any names (or initials for that matter); also, these exes are not in any particular order.

The One With Whom I Lasted Two Weeks... Maybe Three
  • I learned that the smell of Acqua di GiĆ² will forever remind me of him. 
  • I learned that if a guy says that he can see the words literally coming out of my mouth and that everything in the room looks plaid, he is most definitely on drugs. 
  • I learned that it's never good to hear stories from someone's job on the Gateway Clipper Fleet. This is why you will not catch me on one of those boats. Ever. 
  • I learned that getting a boyfriend a few days after starting one's freshman year of college is an absolutely terrible idea. 
  • I learned that a guy probably has his priorities confused if he passes out the few times you are at his parents' home, leaving you to hang out with his [very nice] mother, who you barely know. 
  • I learned that first dates at underage clubs in Oakland are not solid groundwork for a relationship.